Because I am nothing if not predictably useless, the part of my evening that was not spent watching Cats was spent reading academic papers that are in no way relevant to my course or any impending assignments. My lovely housemate Cath is currently compiling an essay on the use of social media in the realm of heritage and archaeology, and I asked her to send me the links to some of the papers she'd been reading. One of them - I tweet honestly, I tweet passionately: Twitter users, context collapse and the imagined audience, by Alice E. Marwick and danah boyd* (2010) - was a fascinating investigation into how and why people use twitter, and to whom they imagine themselves tweeting. It tapped into ideas of self-censorship, and the filtering and targeting of ideas depending on actual, or perceived, audience.
I would heartily recommend the paper to anybody, because it's BRILLIANT, but it ~spoke to me quite specifically. I would consider myself as a person who is On The Internet, rather than an internet user -- I have online identities and friendships, and a sizeable chunk of my life is conducted using the internet and its magnitude of resources and timewasters. That might be considered rather tragic, but I like to think not - the people I've gotten to know online are no less wonderful than those I met 'in real life' (a turn of phrase I question, because the internet is not fictional).
Reading fantastic sociolinguistic studies by people like Penelope Eckert and Mary Bucholtz have sparked an interest in the idea of performing identity through linguistic (and non-linguistic) means, and these combined with Marwick and boyd's paper got me thinking about how I divide facets of my personality in various media outlets, and why I do it. (Bear with me, this could be muddled - let's consider it an experiment!)
Twitter and Facebook
One of the respondents on Marwick and boyd's Twitter survey suggested that srs bzns subjects (relationship drama was the thing oft-cited) were saved for Facebook, while Twitter avoided TMI and stuck to slightly less personal topics for a decent amount of the time.
While I agree, and would be very unlikely to tweet about very personal things, I would probably say that I'm far more 'myself' on Twitter than I would be on Facebook. I also feel uncomfortable about the idea of my Twitter feed being read by my Facebook friends. This is really quite odd and illogical, and I have been hammering my head against metaphorical walls to figure out why.
I think some of it has to do with Twitter, to me, being populated with very like-minded people, and my feed in particular being populated with people I have chosen to follow. I appreciate that Twitter is technically public (we'll get to that in a minute), but I think the distinction comes from the fact that the prerequisites for being a 'friend' on Facebook is to have known a person at some point in your life, and thus the people who have access to my Facebook feed may have little to nothing in common with me (of course, I could delete all the people I don't know, but a) social decorum, and b) I am nosy). As such, I feel somewhat uncomfortable posting about certain things - my thoughts, my passions, and suchlike. In short, I have little to no interest in sharing my thoughts with 80% of my Facebook feed, and I'm pretty sure that same 80% would have little to no interest in reading about them.
Twitter, on the other hand, is different. For some paradoxical reason, I find that I am far more able to be 'myself' on Twitter, despite its potentially unrestricted audience, as opposed to Facebook's limited one. I'm wondering whether it has something to do with the knowledge that the people who follow me on Twitter are more likely to have done so electively rather than out of obligation. If they're not interested in what I have to say, they don't have to pay attention, and can unfollow at will (thought of course there is still social decorum involved, but it seems somehow more fluid than on Facebook). If they're sticking around, they're likely to have at the very least a mild interest in my nonsensical ramblings.
What I can't explain away using follow-theory, however, is the fact that I let so many facets of my personality show on Twitter that I don't on Facebook, and often tweet things I wouldn't dream of posting as a Facebook status. Things I am enthusiastic about (people, theatre, tv shows, nature, etc.), political leanings, mildly amusing anecdotes - all these litter my Twitter timeline but would be quite unlikely to appear on my Facebook feed, or at least do so much more infrequently. I'm half a person on Facebook, and yet technically I have known the people on there much longer than I have many of my Twitter followers, some of whom I don't know at all, and yet talk with freely quite regularly.
A possible reason might be the demographic that the two websites appeal to. Facebook is basically ubiquitous now, to the extent that one of my friends' employers posts their work rota and urgent staff communications on there, knowing it to be the quickest and most convenient way to reach the employees. Whereas people who are Twitterly-inclined seem different; I may be making a few sweeping statements here, but indulge me. For one, they are likely to have sought Twitter out as a social media tool, rather than signed up to Facebook as a default. And those who seek out Twitter are perhaps more likely to be On The Internet in other capacities, as I am, and Internet Types might tend to be more 'nerdy' (issues with that label notwithstanding) and enthusiastic, or at least more tolerant of nerdy enthusiasm. Twitter feels somehow safer despite being far more open - a nonsensical paradox I have endeavoured to explain, but have done so very poorly.
And yet, I do still censor myself. The knowledge that I have certain followers makes me less likely to tweet certain things, and remembering that I have certain followers often results in immediate tweet-regret, and occasional deletion. Moreover, right now there is someone I would really like to follow, but I am too afraid to do so, lest the person see this slice of the 'real me', and run away screaming. I'm rather tempted to just go for it, take the plunge, get the weirdness out there -- if said person can't deal with it, then that's just the way it shall be. My finger has hovered over the 'follow' button thrice tonight already - we'll see whether, as it pushes into the wee hours, my confidence grows and I actually click.
Old friend and new friends
I've also found myself editing my personality a good deal depending on the friendship group with whom I am interacting, and am curious as to whether this is just something I do, or whether it is relatively commonplace.
I have changed an awful lot since I was 15/16. Like, 'basically a different person' changed. As such, when I see older friends, I find myself performing that past identity a little, doing and not doing certain things, saying and not saying others. I try to be the Hannah they knew, possibly paranoid that they won't like the Hannah I have become. That all sounds rather melodramatic and grandiose for what it is, but it is nonetheless the case. My older friends know very, very little of who I am and what I like these days, which seems somehow sad, but perhaps necessary.
I find I similarly censor myself with new people, too. Not to the same extent, but - in all honesty - I try to tone down the weirdness as much as possible in the first crucial hours of friendship. Let it out in stages, that's the key - don't start by saying that I met most of my closest friends online through bonding over Doctor Who (among other things), because that is possibly likely to yet again encourage people to run away. I see myself doing this and want to cry 'Hannah, you fool! If they don't like you for who you actually are they are undeserving of your attention!', and that's the attitude I am increasingly trying to have. I really dislike when people are embarrassed by who I am, and I'm turning into one of those people, but I still find myself worrying what other people think, just a little. Less so than I used to, I admit.
Maybe it's progressive. Maybe it'll take time to properly throw off the worry that people who get to see this 'real' me will be underwhelmed, aghast or even appalled. Maybe it'll take small steps, one at a time.
Maybe I'll click 'follow', tonight. Just maybe.
*danah chooses for her name to remain uncapitalised, and her reasons for doing so are explained here. It's actually quite a neat little rationale!
Saturday 28 January 2012
Thursday 5 January 2012
My 2011 - part the final
So, taking inspiration from (read: shamelessly copying) Sophie, Rhian and Pockle, I have written my 'top theatre of 2011' blog in the style of ridiculous awards handed out in arbitrary categories.
Onwards!
The 'move, bitch, get out the way' award for show-stealing
James Garnon, in King Lear at the West Yorkshire Playhouse. My fondness for background acting in TV shows has probably bled into my theatre-watching, and my subsequent attachment to some (slightly) more minor characters. While the WYP's Lear was sound overall, I'm afraid I can't remember much aside from James Garnon striding around in braces and riding boots. That, and sassy!Oswald. Sorry Iain Batchelor, you were really close to winning, but were you wearing braces? No, you were not.
The 'eyes on the prize, Leach' award for show-stealing that was committed by someone not in the ensemble
Anne Boleyn was one of my favourite shows of the year; vibrant, hilarious and beautifully performed, I adored it. However, I found myself distracted by the presence of a certain Sexy Cellist up in the balcony, and - more specifically - his obscene habit of basically performing oral sex with his cello while he wasn't playing it. How is a girl to focus when he's mouthing at his tuning keys? Impossible.
Snog of the year
Despite hearty competition from Ben Lamb and Emma Pallant in As You Like It, Oscar-worthy kiss of the year has to go to Ben Deery and James Garnon in Anne Boleyn. I will refrain from further comment lest I shame myself.
The 'I hate myself' award for inappropriate arousal
Our Private Lives - a play about underage rape, accused incest and psychological trauma - was bloody hard to watch, and incredibly powerful. And yet, there was Colin Morgan, all slender and angsty, in excellent jeans, with his hair all a mess, and good lord the mixture of extreme emotions going while sitting in that tiny room was quite disgusting.
Best cape-based masculinity crisis
Sam Crane, All's Well That Ends Well. Oh BERTRAM, you beautiful dickbag.
Moment most deserving of spontaneous applause
Emma Pallant's Seven Ages of Man speech in As You Like It. Emma's Lady Jacques was sublime throughout, but this speech in particular was stupendous.
The 'OH GOD WHY' award for most awkward in-theatre moment
That moment when someone actually started spontaneously applauding in the middle of Emma's Seven Ages of Man speech. I mean, if you're moved to express yourself, then who am I to stop you, but she was only on act four! And it explicitly states that there will be seven!
The TALL award for tall tallness
Despite stiff competition from other lovely tall boys (Ben Lamb, Will Featherstone, Ed Bennett, John Heffernan), this one has to go to Rupert Young, who had to KNEEL DOWN to hug one of his castmates in Company, and was still almost as tall as her. We also had the great honour of seeing his tall tallness up close, too, and Mr Young is as delightful as he is giant.
The 'you are my sunshine, my only sunshine' award for RADIANCE
The Globe ladies could have blown a hole in the ozone layer with the sheer force of RADIANCE pouring out of that one spot on the South Bank, I'm sure. Ellie Piercy, Miranda Raison and Emma Pallant were all beaming rays of sunshine (and I am reliably informed that Eve Best would also be on this list, had I seen Much Ado), but the accolade must go to the supernova of radiance that is Jo Herbert, for her Rosalind. As many have said, she was born to play the role.
Best forearms
There was a veritable feast of forearm glory in almost every show I saw this year (I can reduce even the most highbrow of cultural outings into a oglefest. I'm not even sorry), but SURPRISE WINNER of the 2011 forearms award is one Ed Bennett. I admit, I may have been blinded by the fact that they were about eight inches from my face for a several minutes, but they were undeniably spectacular specimens.
Best RIPPLING BACK MUSCLES
Like there was, or will ever be, another contender. Step up, Ben Lamb.
Most arousing costume design
Ooh, sometimes I just want to kiss a show's costume designer on the mouth. This year we had some treats: Heffernan and his bowties in Last of the Duchess; Sam Barnett's ridiculously tight jeans in Rosencratnz and Guildenstern are dead; an abundance of waistcoat action in both Three Farces and As You Like It - all, magnificent. However, I think the award has to go to Propeller's Henry V, whose modern military garb - mainly vests - resulted in what was basically a forearm army, or a forearmy, if you will.
FAAAAACE! of the year
Yet again, Ed Bennett takes it. Three Farces farces had me laughing until I was sure I was going to vomit up my spleen, but Ed in particular was fantastic - the tiniest little lip-twitch or nose-scrunch had the audience howling, and his upper-middle-class twit face is second to none.
Most teasing loincloth
Don't even front, Sam Crane. Stop concealing your feelings under that knee-length modest loincloth of yours.
The 'oh, that's what everyone was harping on about' award for person I finally saw on stage
Excellent twitter types had talked at length about how wonderful John Heffernan is, and I finally got to experience it for myself this year - twice, in fact! While I will be forever bitter about missing Love, Love, Love and particularly his Richard II, he was utterly wonderful in Emperor and Galilean and Last of the Duchess -- in the former, tender and heartbreaking, in the latter, precious beyond belief. He immediately leapt onto my 'people I will make the effort to see regardless of price or distance' list, and I can't wait to see him in more things. Next up: She Stoops to Conquer.
The 'cheers, Twitter' award for people I am inexplicably attached to despite never actually seeing them perform
The joint recipients of this award have to be Kyle Soller and Phil Cumbus; living vicariously through my friends as they watched Much Ado About Nothing, The Globe Mysteries, The Government Inspector and Faith Machine, with only headshots and YouTube delights to tide me over, I nevertheless start 2012 with a Soller Situation and a spot on Team Cumberbus. \o/
Greatest things I have now watched because a person from a show was in it once
I am finding it hard to pick between the objective winner - Benjamin Dove, a beautiful, if heartbreaking Icelandic family film - and one I secretly want to give the award to - The Demon Headmaster. However, the astute among you will notice that these two things have something in common, and thus the award can be presented to Gunnar Cauthery's back catalogue. Even The Tudors.
The 'oh God still crying why did it have to end' award for show of the year
The Globe's As You Like It. Almost four months later, and I still can't find words adequate enough to express how fucking wonderful it was. The most joyous show I've ever seen.
Best nickname
Tall sex ninja, jam filled pastry case, sunkissed, Cumberbus -- there were a LOT of ridiculous nicknames coined this year. However, the crowning jewel of nicknamey glory, of course, has to go to Tiny Hamlet, a pseudonym that is so ubiquitous, it appears to now be used by Joshua Maguire's family members. As Sophie puts it, 'I feel we have, in a very real way, ruined Joshua McGuire's life a little bit.'
Troll of the year
Posting pictures of skinny-dipping adventures? Sending us links to videos of glorious boyband mimicry? Slipping in-jokes into on-stage dialogue and radio interviews? Why, it could only be Gunnar Cauthery, troll extraordinaire and king of the enablers.
The 'we could have had it aaaaaaaaall' award for show I most regret missing
As I think of all the shows I didn't get to see this year, I'm finding myself hammering at the keyboard with increasing bitter rage. Jerusalem, Richard II, 66 Books, Tender Napalm, and so many other shows I missed due to distance/cost/logistics. Oh, to be a lottery winner! However, the title has to go to The Globe's Much Ado About Nothing, which I heard was nothing short of exquisite. I hope to find some solace from the eventual DVD.
The 'WHY AM I HERE I HATE MYSELF' award for guilty pleasure of the year
Glee live. Fuck you all, it was amazing.
The 'how is this a thing that is real' for best experience of the year
That one time we spent an evening sandwiched between Jamie Parker's childhood friends while he, his beautiful wife Deborah Crowe, and Samuel Barnett performed Sondheim and other other musical theatre classics about eight feet away from us. Remember that time Jamie's friends told us anecdotes about his adolescence? Remember that time we cheered so loudly that we got special recognition? Remember that time Deborah Crowe told me I looked like Anna Maxwell Martin? I do.
The 'shut up being so wonderful I can't even deal with it' award for best ensemble
Onwards!
The 'move, bitch, get out the way' award for show-stealing
James Garnon, in King Lear at the West Yorkshire Playhouse. My fondness for background acting in TV shows has probably bled into my theatre-watching, and my subsequent attachment to some (slightly) more minor characters. While the WYP's Lear was sound overall, I'm afraid I can't remember much aside from James Garnon striding around in braces and riding boots. That, and sassy!Oswald. Sorry Iain Batchelor, you were really close to winning, but were you wearing braces? No, you were not.
The 'eyes on the prize, Leach' award for show-stealing that was committed by someone not in the ensemble
Anne Boleyn was one of my favourite shows of the year; vibrant, hilarious and beautifully performed, I adored it. However, I found myself distracted by the presence of a certain Sexy Cellist up in the balcony, and - more specifically - his obscene habit of basically performing oral sex with his cello while he wasn't playing it. How is a girl to focus when he's mouthing at his tuning keys? Impossible.
Snog of the year
Despite hearty competition from Ben Lamb and Emma Pallant in As You Like It, Oscar-worthy kiss of the year has to go to Ben Deery and James Garnon in Anne Boleyn. I will refrain from further comment lest I shame myself.
The 'I hate myself' award for inappropriate arousal
Our Private Lives - a play about underage rape, accused incest and psychological trauma - was bloody hard to watch, and incredibly powerful. And yet, there was Colin Morgan, all slender and angsty, in excellent jeans, with his hair all a mess, and good lord the mixture of extreme emotions going while sitting in that tiny room was quite disgusting.
Best cape-based masculinity crisis
Sam Crane, All's Well That Ends Well. Oh BERTRAM, you beautiful dickbag.
Moment most deserving of spontaneous applause
Emma Pallant's Seven Ages of Man speech in As You Like It. Emma's Lady Jacques was sublime throughout, but this speech in particular was stupendous.
The 'OH GOD WHY' award for most awkward in-theatre moment
That moment when someone actually started spontaneously applauding in the middle of Emma's Seven Ages of Man speech. I mean, if you're moved to express yourself, then who am I to stop you, but she was only on act four! And it explicitly states that there will be seven!
The TALL award for tall tallness
Despite stiff competition from other lovely tall boys (Ben Lamb, Will Featherstone, Ed Bennett, John Heffernan), this one has to go to Rupert Young, who had to KNEEL DOWN to hug one of his castmates in Company, and was still almost as tall as her. We also had the great honour of seeing his tall tallness up close, too, and Mr Young is as delightful as he is giant.
The 'you are my sunshine, my only sunshine' award for RADIANCE
The Globe ladies could have blown a hole in the ozone layer with the sheer force of RADIANCE pouring out of that one spot on the South Bank, I'm sure. Ellie Piercy, Miranda Raison and Emma Pallant were all beaming rays of sunshine (and I am reliably informed that Eve Best would also be on this list, had I seen Much Ado), but the accolade must go to the supernova of radiance that is Jo Herbert, for her Rosalind. As many have said, she was born to play the role.
Best forearms
There was a veritable feast of forearm glory in almost every show I saw this year (I can reduce even the most highbrow of cultural outings into a oglefest. I'm not even sorry), but SURPRISE WINNER of the 2011 forearms award is one Ed Bennett. I admit, I may have been blinded by the fact that they were about eight inches from my face for a several minutes, but they were undeniably spectacular specimens.
 |
| Told you so |
Like there was, or will ever be, another contender. Step up, Ben Lamb.
Most arousing costume design
Ooh, sometimes I just want to kiss a show's costume designer on the mouth. This year we had some treats: Heffernan and his bowties in Last of the Duchess; Sam Barnett's ridiculously tight jeans in Rosencratnz and Guildenstern are dead; an abundance of waistcoat action in both Three Farces and As You Like It - all, magnificent. However, I think the award has to go to Propeller's Henry V, whose modern military garb - mainly vests - resulted in what was basically a forearm army, or a forearmy, if you will.
FAAAAACE! of the year
Yet again, Ed Bennett takes it. Three Farces farces had me laughing until I was sure I was going to vomit up my spleen, but Ed in particular was fantastic - the tiniest little lip-twitch or nose-scrunch had the audience howling, and his upper-middle-class twit face is second to none.
Most teasing loincloth
Don't even front, Sam Crane. Stop concealing your feelings under that knee-length modest loincloth of yours.
The 'oh, that's what everyone was harping on about' award for person I finally saw on stage
Excellent twitter types had talked at length about how wonderful John Heffernan is, and I finally got to experience it for myself this year - twice, in fact! While I will be forever bitter about missing Love, Love, Love and particularly his Richard II, he was utterly wonderful in Emperor and Galilean and Last of the Duchess -- in the former, tender and heartbreaking, in the latter, precious beyond belief. He immediately leapt onto my 'people I will make the effort to see regardless of price or distance' list, and I can't wait to see him in more things. Next up: She Stoops to Conquer.
The 'cheers, Twitter' award for people I am inexplicably attached to despite never actually seeing them perform
The joint recipients of this award have to be Kyle Soller and Phil Cumbus; living vicariously through my friends as they watched Much Ado About Nothing, The Globe Mysteries, The Government Inspector and Faith Machine, with only headshots and YouTube delights to tide me over, I nevertheless start 2012 with a Soller Situation and a spot on Team Cumberbus. \o/
Greatest things I have now watched because a person from a show was in it once
I am finding it hard to pick between the objective winner - Benjamin Dove, a beautiful, if heartbreaking Icelandic family film - and one I secretly want to give the award to - The Demon Headmaster. However, the astute among you will notice that these two things have something in common, and thus the award can be presented to Gunnar Cauthery's back catalogue. Even The Tudors.
The 'oh God still crying why did it have to end' award for show of the year
The Globe's As You Like It. Almost four months later, and I still can't find words adequate enough to express how fucking wonderful it was. The most joyous show I've ever seen.
Best nickname
Tall sex ninja, jam filled pastry case, sunkissed, Cumberbus -- there were a LOT of ridiculous nicknames coined this year. However, the crowning jewel of nicknamey glory, of course, has to go to Tiny Hamlet, a pseudonym that is so ubiquitous, it appears to now be used by Joshua Maguire's family members. As Sophie puts it, 'I feel we have, in a very real way, ruined Joshua McGuire's life a little bit.'
Troll of the year
Posting pictures of skinny-dipping adventures? Sending us links to videos of glorious boyband mimicry? Slipping in-jokes into on-stage dialogue and radio interviews? Why, it could only be Gunnar Cauthery, troll extraordinaire and king of the enablers.
The 'we could have had it aaaaaaaaall' award for show I most regret missing
As I think of all the shows I didn't get to see this year, I'm finding myself hammering at the keyboard with increasing bitter rage. Jerusalem, Richard II, 66 Books, Tender Napalm, and so many other shows I missed due to distance/cost/logistics. Oh, to be a lottery winner! However, the title has to go to The Globe's Much Ado About Nothing, which I heard was nothing short of exquisite. I hope to find some solace from the eventual DVD.
The 'WHY AM I HERE I HATE MYSELF' award for guilty pleasure of the year
Glee live. Fuck you all, it was amazing.
The 'how is this a thing that is real' for best experience of the year
That one time we spent an evening sandwiched between Jamie Parker's childhood friends while he, his beautiful wife Deborah Crowe, and Samuel Barnett performed Sondheim and other other musical theatre classics about eight feet away from us. Remember that time Jamie's friends told us anecdotes about his adolescence? Remember that time we cheered so loudly that we got special recognition? Remember that time Deborah Crowe told me I looked like Anna Maxwell Martin? I do.
The 'shut up being so wonderful I can't even deal with it' award for best ensemble
 |
| These fuckers. |
Tuesday 3 January 2012
2012 - apocalypse now?
Ah, New Year's Resolutions - self-administered pressure to be cooler, nicer, harder, better, faster, stronger, longer, fatter, bigger, more erect, etc. The futility of such vague aspirations for personal betterment is recognised year on year, but here I am, in January of 2012*, with a carefully written list of goals for the year ahead, alongside every other optimistic sucker who makes arbitrary calendar-based changes to their lives. Whatever - suckers united!
New Year's Resolutions
1. I am henceforth banniated from snoozing my alarm clock. This is going to be a killer, because heaven knows I love a snooze, but I need to regulate my sleeping pattern somehow, and I'm sleeping through the hours of the morning I could use for work, which is a waste. You snooze, you lose, etc.
2. As advised by Emma, I am to stop apologising so much. Now, I've been told to do this before, and haven't quite succeeded, but it's worth a try. One of my biggest aggravations is people being embarrassed by my behaviour, and as Em so rightly pointed out, I'm one of them! Apologising when I've done something wrong is, of course, still necessary, but I'm going to endeavour to stop apologising for facets of my personality that are just me being my preposterous self.
3. Take up dancing again. It's been five years since I stopped, and by heavens I miss it. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights can entirely be blamed for the resurgence of dancey feelings.
4. While I manage to read a decent number of articles and blogs, I've found it difficult to do much recreational fiction reading lately, possibly because reading for hours every day from textbooks means I'm reluctant to sit down and read some heavy-duty stuff in the evenings. However, I have given myself a reading project which I hope will suit my circumstances.
I'm going to read, and re-read, some classic children's literature - books I read as a kid, and those I missed out on first time around. I'm hoping to develop a new appreciation for the books I so loved when I was a nipper, and to be able to read something a little lighter in my free time.
I've been buying all the books I can from charity shops, and currently have a reading list that consists of the following:
Roald Dahl - Matilda
Roald Dahl - George's Marvellous Medicine
Lewis Carrol - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass
Louisa May Alcott - Little Women
Jacqueline Wilson - Double Act
Jacqueline Wilson - The Lottie Project
Judy Blume - Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself
J. M. Barrie - Peter Pan
Those should keep me going to start with, and I'll most likely pick up more as I go on. Any recommendations of childhood favourites are very welcome!
And there we are. Come at me, 2012 - I'll shuffle-ball-change at you and swipe you in the face with my copy of Peter Pan, all after a glorious night's sleep. And I won't even apologise.
*ahahaha WHAT. When did that happen?
New Year's Resolutions
1. I am henceforth banniated from snoozing my alarm clock. This is going to be a killer, because heaven knows I love a snooze, but I need to regulate my sleeping pattern somehow, and I'm sleeping through the hours of the morning I could use for work, which is a waste. You snooze, you lose, etc.
2. As advised by Emma, I am to stop apologising so much. Now, I've been told to do this before, and haven't quite succeeded, but it's worth a try. One of my biggest aggravations is people being embarrassed by my behaviour, and as Em so rightly pointed out, I'm one of them! Apologising when I've done something wrong is, of course, still necessary, but I'm going to endeavour to stop apologising for facets of my personality that are just me being my preposterous self.
3. Take up dancing again. It's been five years since I stopped, and by heavens I miss it. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights can entirely be blamed for the resurgence of dancey feelings.
4. While I manage to read a decent number of articles and blogs, I've found it difficult to do much recreational fiction reading lately, possibly because reading for hours every day from textbooks means I'm reluctant to sit down and read some heavy-duty stuff in the evenings. However, I have given myself a reading project which I hope will suit my circumstances.
I'm going to read, and re-read, some classic children's literature - books I read as a kid, and those I missed out on first time around. I'm hoping to develop a new appreciation for the books I so loved when I was a nipper, and to be able to read something a little lighter in my free time.
I've been buying all the books I can from charity shops, and currently have a reading list that consists of the following:
Roald Dahl - Matilda
Roald Dahl - George's Marvellous Medicine
Lewis Carrol - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass
Louisa May Alcott - Little Women
Jacqueline Wilson - Double Act
Jacqueline Wilson - The Lottie Project
Judy Blume - Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself
J. M. Barrie - Peter Pan
Those should keep me going to start with, and I'll most likely pick up more as I go on. Any recommendations of childhood favourites are very welcome!
And there we are. Come at me, 2012 - I'll shuffle-ball-change at you and swipe you in the face with my copy of Peter Pan, all after a glorious night's sleep. And I won't even apologise.
*ahahaha WHAT. When did that happen?
Monday 2 January 2012
My 2011 - part the fourth
SOUNDTRACK TO 2011
Charlene Kaye - Oh, Howard!
He's quoting Clement Greenberg,
He's pacing the floor,
Each word comes out as sweet as vermouth
He's quoting Clement Greenberg,
He's pacing the floor,
Each word comes out as sweet as vermouth
Horrible Histories - Dick Turpin
I became a Highwayman,
Was daylight robbery.
I was no Prince Charming,
Nothing dandy about me
Was daylight robbery.
I was no Prince Charming,
Nothing dandy about me
Emmy the Great - A Woman, a Woman, a Century of Sleep
But I don't want to be
The queen
In a century of sleep
But I don't want to be
The queen
In a century of sleep
Freelance Whales - Generator (First Floor)
And in our native language,
We are chanting ancient songs
The Boy Least Likely To - When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade
I got a bucket, filled it with raindrops,
Then I put in in the fridge.
So whenever the sun in shining,
I make rainbows out of it.
And in our native language,
We are chanting ancient songs
The Boy Least Likely To - When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade
I got a bucket, filled it with raindrops,
Then I put in in the fridge.
So whenever the sun in shining,
I make rainbows out of it.
Stephen Sondheim - Not Getting Married (from Company)
Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for,
a wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual
where everybody promises fidelity forever,
which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of,
which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize
he's saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should
a wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual
where everybody promises fidelity forever,
which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of,
which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize
he's saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should
Starkid - Granger Danger
Seems like my eyes have been transfigured
something deep inside has changed
something deep inside has changed
Arcade Fire - Spawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)
'Cause on the surface, the city lights shine,
They're calling at us - come and find your kind
Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way
I never want to hear you say
I want it that way
The Divine Comedy - Tonight, We Fly
And when we die,
Oh, will we be that disappointed or sad?
If heaven doesn's exist What will we have missed?
This life is the best we've ever had.
See also:
Top ten new TV shows of 2011
Top ten TV shows that were new to me in 2011
People of the year
They're calling at us - come and find your kind
Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way
I never want to hear you say
I want it that way
The Divine Comedy - Tonight, We Fly
And when we die,
Oh, will we be that disappointed or sad?
If heaven doesn's exist What will we have missed?
This life is the best we've ever had.
See also:
Top ten new TV shows of 2011
Top ten TV shows that were new to me in 2011
People of the year
My 2011 - part the third
LADIES OF 2011
Moran, Herbert, Rudolph, Pallant
Garai, Kaye, Poehler, Wiig
Caitlin Moran
Author, master-tweeter, general life idol, owner of excellent hair.
Jo Herbert
Radiant, hilarious, Rosalind of my heart 4lyf, put up with our drunken idolisation of her like a champ.
Maya Rudolph
Comic genius, interview beaut, she of the freckles, girlcrush numero uno.
Emma Pallant
GODDESS, sob-inducingly incredible, sweetest person ever, also put up with our drunken idolisation. (Note to self: must stop drunkenly idolising people.)
Romola Garai
Smart, fearless, an actress who (alongside people like Gemma Arterton and Megan Fox) speaks up about sexism in the biz, also has an excellent face.
Charlene Kaye
Superb songstress, writer of the most beautiful music, honorary Starkid, STUNNER.
Amy Poehler
Beaming, hilarious, one half of awesome marrieds!, unafraid to call people out on their bullshit.
Kristen Wiig
Rightful superstar, sweetheart, lead actress in the best damn film of the year.
***
MEN OF 2011
Baynton, Cauthery, Heffernan, Criss, Morgan
Featherstone, Stevens, Rickard, Bell, Billington
Judd, Scott, Willbond, Oakes, Segel
Mat Baynton
#bitter hipster of our dreams
Gunnar Cauthery
#jam-filled pastry case
John Heffernan
#sunkissed
Darren Criss
#life-ruiner
Colin Morgan
#hair licked by kittens
Will Featherstone
#portable!
Dan Stevens
#STEVENS FEVER
Laurence Rickard
#oof i have a crush on you
Jamie Bell
#what happens in the jamie bell feelings remix, stays in the jamie bell feelings remix
Rob Billington
#sexy chipped tooth
Harry Judd
#sexy drummer boy
Adam Scott
#shut up with your face you beautiful boy mayor
Ben Willbond
#the football socks edition
David Oakes
#tweets about snowdrops
Jason Segel
#dream husband
Moran, Herbert, Rudolph, Pallant
Garai, Kaye, Poehler, Wiig
Caitlin Moran
Author, master-tweeter, general life idol, owner of excellent hair.
Jo Herbert
Radiant, hilarious, Rosalind of my heart 4lyf, put up with our drunken idolisation of her like a champ.
Maya Rudolph
Comic genius, interview beaut, she of the freckles, girlcrush numero uno.
Emma Pallant
GODDESS, sob-inducingly incredible, sweetest person ever, also put up with our drunken idolisation. (Note to self: must stop drunkenly idolising people.)
Romola Garai
Smart, fearless, an actress who (alongside people like Gemma Arterton and Megan Fox) speaks up about sexism in the biz, also has an excellent face.
Charlene Kaye
Superb songstress, writer of the most beautiful music, honorary Starkid, STUNNER.
Amy Poehler
Beaming, hilarious, one half of awesome marrieds!, unafraid to call people out on their bullshit.
Kristen Wiig
Rightful superstar, sweetheart, lead actress in the best damn film of the year.
***
MEN OF 2011
Baynton, Cauthery, Heffernan, Criss, Morgan
Featherstone, Stevens, Rickard, Bell, Billington
Judd, Scott, Willbond, Oakes, Segel
Mat Baynton
#bitter hipster of our dreams
Gunnar Cauthery
#jam-filled pastry case
John Heffernan
#sunkissed
Darren Criss
#life-ruiner
Colin Morgan
#hair licked by kittens
Will Featherstone
#portable!
Dan Stevens
#STEVENS FEVER
Laurence Rickard
#oof i have a crush on you
Jamie Bell
#what happens in the jamie bell feelings remix, stays in the jamie bell feelings remix
Rob Billington
#sexy chipped tooth
Harry Judd
#sexy drummer boy
Adam Scott
#shut up with your face you beautiful boy mayor
Ben Willbond
#the football socks edition
David Oakes
#tweets about snowdrops
Jason Segel
#dream husband
***
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